Whod you bang
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
