You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
