i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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