Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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