if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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