what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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