You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She said her name was "party"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
