I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dicks are not precious.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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