I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
