Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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