im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
