Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
