Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dick very happy bro
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
