I just cut my nipple shaving
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize