Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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