dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
