the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
