I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
