What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
