so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
