Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize