nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
