I think I just saw someone hide a body.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
