just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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