Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
