So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
