Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
