Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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