People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
