Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize