why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize