I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
