it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
