I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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