Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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