I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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