Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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