really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
