Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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