The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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