Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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