Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
