We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
