I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just pee around me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize