It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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