Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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