P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
