4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Randomize
