he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
