he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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