oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
