Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
