I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
