yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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