North Korea, Best Korea!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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