Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
