he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
