Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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