im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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