Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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