I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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