apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize