Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
