Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
