im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
