i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
