okay pat passed out under dana's car
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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