lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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