The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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