Kiss
Puke
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
