another moral hangover. fuck.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
