yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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